Hjálp

Spurningur: Im so jealous of a girl at my school she can just take all the days off she wants and that is because she is battling something mentally idrk what tho. But the thing is i am too but im more so jealous of the fact she feels she can tell the adults and get help. I struggle with self harm (which like 2 friends know abt and one thinks i js scratch rlly hard even tho thats in reality not the case, not anymore atleast its js gotten worse.) and sometimes when its rlly rlly bad i sometimes think abt suicide, and struggle with other stuff but lowk too lazy to write everything. But can i tell people this? No. Can i get help? No. I mean i could get help, if i asked my mom for therapy she would probably say yes, but its rlly hard to explain or atleast for me but i js like i CANT tell my parents. Like its like i COULDDDD but i js like i just cannot do it. And its like it would also be uncomfortable if teachers and other adults knew… THAT ISNT EVEN LIKE THE MAIN THING THOOOOO likeeeee idrk its hard to explain but i js CANT tell my parents, i can barely tell my friends. Im js so tired man. And even worse i often get bullied at school, which makes going to school even worse but can i take some days off? No. My mom probably thinks im a big fat liar because i used to pretend to be sick alllll the time just to get out of school, but imagine if my parents knew? Imagine if i could js tell them i am simply TOO tired to go to school? Imagine if i could just get help? That would be amazing. Itd be so incredible. Imagine if i could go to therapy and actually stop being like this? Idek why im so scared… like i js cant explain it honestly. But idk man i js cant tell her. But js Imagining getting real help and support and allat is kinda making me consider it but just 1% and i am not gonna tell them but just imagine.

Dear you. Thank you for writing this letter.

What you are describing makes sense; You are not actually jealous that your friend is struggling — you jealous that she feels able to ask for help. That’s a very human kind of jealousy. It’s about wanting support, safety, and someone to take your pain seriously. You describe that self-harm has gotten worse, and you are having thoughts about suicide when things feel really bad, bullying at school, feeling exhausted all the time, and trying to hide all of it. Of course you’re tired. Anyone would be tired. You’re carrying a lot.

It is common and natural to be afraid and not knowing how to put your pain and struggles into words. You’re not alone in feeling this. When you’ve been pretending to be okay for a long time, telling the truth can feel almost impossible. I hear something important in your wishes, that a tiny, 1%, part of you is imagining getting real help. That 1% matters. That’s the part of you that still hopes things could feel different. You don’t have to go from 0% to 100% and suddenly tell your mom everything. You don’t have to explain everything at once. Perhaps you can start the conversation with your mother as simlpe as possible: “Can I see a therapist? I don’t really know how to explain it yet.” A therapist’s job is literally to help you find the words.

When your self-harm is getting worse and when suicide thoughts show up it is already serious enough to deserve adult support. You do not have to wait until things are worse. And you should not stand alone with these matters. You describe that it is also difficult to reach out to other adults. Very often it is the first step that is the most difficult. Perhaps you could think of an adult that you trust fx heilsufrøðingurin in your school, a teacher or another adult in your family. There are people out there who want to listen.

The fact that you’re imagining help means a part of you wants to live differently. That part is important. You don’t have to decide everything today. But maybe don’t close the door entirely either. Leave it open 1%.

Thank you for writing, once again. Remind yourself, that there are people out there who care about your safety. You don’t have to carry this alone.

You are always welcome to call or write Tù og Eg Ráðgevingina hjá Barnabata á 116 111 again.